绝对不可以再一次的不理智！心再痛，再难过也不可以。

once again, disappointment yet by another..

once again, another disappointment by another..

the more I told myself I'm not disappointed. the more I feel sad. why? I shld be contented actually. this is not the first time. but I've studied pretty hard. or maybe it's just not enough. oh yea, n the saddest thing is that I can only write down everything here.
everyone envy my life. a life where I can get whatever I wanted. but I don't seem to have someone to take to when I needed to! my parents don't get it at all. my eldest bro is busy with other stuffs. hmm I didn't wanna mention abt the other anyways. and yea, that left with me alone. it's not that Im independent. it's just that life gives me no choice but to be. I just don't wanna seem weak in front of others. n I can never be.

i'm blogging over here tdy is because there are some things that is going on that i cant tell people who are close to me. enemy and friends. how am i suppose to distinguish all of them.

I'm scared of the real world outside. Me without protection from anybody except for myself. But i cant hide. I have to face the truth no matter what.

i have to be another me till i find that person whom i can entrust myself to him. so when will this day come? I'll hope it will be soon.

file:///Users/Kathy/Documents/Site/kathy.html

yes, all the signs have shown that i should leave. leaving and not coming back? i'm still thinking about that.

no matter how hard i've tried things are not gonna to get better. i have my own way of thinking and they have theirs. and voicing out is not gonna solve anything cos i am not even given a chance to do so.

guilty. yes i am. but why? a family should not be that way. now i can sort of understand why all of them started getting their own lives soon after they got married.

why issit that i should always be the one who is more understanding?? i hate being cling on to money matters when being in the family.

they jus doesnt let me feel secure at all. sometimes i jus felt that they are more of my money debtors rather than family. a so called bank for me to lead my life till i reach 21. or till i graduated and change into another bank. the word family has become so vake to me these few years.


usa trip, dont have to worry abt every sem's fees. yes! i'm like a pampered wealthy girl who doesnt have to worry abt money matters. but they dont understand that all these seems to be much more of a burden to me than joy.

sometimes i jus felt that me staying in this house is wrong,

i'm like making everyone unhappy.

so what is the use of staying in this house.


maybe we can get along well more when we dont meet up that often.

less contact, less argue..